Thank you, Cancer
I learned that I am still cancer free today!
I endured that lovely PET/CT scan that I talked a little about in my last cancer post. The results are in and got the all clear. Ahhhhhhhh…
I am still learning so many things about myself and about this disease. I have grown and learned so much in the last almost two years. This is why I have decided to tell cancer:
I have to say, you are one Hell of a teacher.
Here are a few things you have done for me:
Giving me the nerve to quit a job I hated.
Making me truly healthier than I ever have been before or even cared about being. (Yay Keto!)
Teaching me to appreciate my daughter’s shoes on the wrong feet. And how, no matter what I try, her hair is going to look like she is in the middle of a tornado.
To hug as much as possible.
That all birthdays are kinda a big deal.
Laughter can get you through pretty much anything.
To be okay with tears, both the happy and sad.
How great it is to have super short hair.
To try to never say again, “If it were me I would…” especially if I have never experienced what the person is going through.
How breast implants have their pros and cons.
For moving me to Colorado, and allowing me to experience a “real” winter complete with negative temperatures and regular snow.
Now knowing that I have the best family, both blood and chosen, on this planet.
Deepening my faith.
Solidifying the fact that through thick or thin, sickness and in health, richer or poorer, long curls or bald, my husband loves me.
This list could go for miles…
Today, I am more confident than I have ever been. I now know what it takes to get through something like cancer. More often than not, I have to rely on the fact that I decided to live, and if that meant certain things had to be done, then I had one choice: do them.
Anyway, while this post may sound all sunshiney and rainbows, I can definitively state, Cancer, is not. There have been buckets of tears, pleas to God, decisions made that can never be changed, time stolen, and countless scars added.
I think the largest sucker punch I ever received was when I was told my diagnosis; Breast Cancer. But then to hear stage 4, there are no words. I remember looking at the little girl that was sitting on the couch, and prayed that she would remember me. Somehow telling people I had cancer, often felt almost as hard as the treatment. I literally had to tell my dad that I had the same disease that took his mother.
But, I am still here to celebrate the light on the other side of that tunnel, and that is what I am choosing to do today.
Everything happens and is given to us for a reason. (Sorry for the cliche.) I honestly believe that what I have gone through was something placed in my path for a purpose. Today, I have no idea what that reason is or was, but hopefully one day I will. There is no trial or person that crosses your path from whom you cannot learn. I guess cancer taught me that too…
Thank you cancer for the lessons. Just one last thing, you are not welcome to come back.